dream as if you live forever, live as if you die tomorrow (James Dean)

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Samstag, 13. November 2010

a few words on this week


Not so much has happened in the last 5 days. I´ve started to work properly in the College but without midwife students it is not much going on in terms of lectures. So I spent my days getting prepared and figuring out how this whole institution works, who everyone is and in which projects I can get involved. I am a bit drifting between “no one is really taking advantage of my being here (I could also not be here and it wouldn’t make a difference)” and “Oh my god I don’t know where to start!”  It is not easy to get your head around it, there is not really a structure or a plan made up where and how I could be helpful and no one seems to be responsible for that. So I have to figure it out myself which is ok as well but just takes much longer. Thankfully Nikki is around and she can help me a bit to understand what´s going on, she is here since February and only started teaching the new nurse students now. She has started a project on renewing the skills lab and bringing it in order; I might get myself involved in that. There is loads of material, dummies, dolls, videos (anno 1900) and boards, it is just all piled up in a little store room because there is no room to put it anywhere. It is all donated but it´s like the example of the donated computers to a school which doesn’t have electricity. So we should figure out a way where all this equipment can be regularly used.
Other than that I´ve started preparing lectures for the students who are expected in January. Unfortunately the meeting for allocating who teaches what was in the time I was in my orientation and didn’t get any notice. So I got what was left: History of midwifery, ethics, political and legal background. BORING!!!
First I thought I should complain and get lectures in topics I really know more about but then I thought I shouldn’t push it to much in the beginning, be quiet and just make the best out of it. The topics might be getting changed all over again anyway and I think its smarter to just start and find my place in the college first. So I had to do some research on Malawian history and ethics. Was quite interesting! I have enough time to be adventurous about teaching: was thinking of group works, maybe role plays, so the students don’t fall asleep on this boring topic. Could be fun!
I just get the impression that the main problem in the college is organization and order. There are to many people doing to many different things. The one doesn’t know what the other one is doing and I´m in the middle completely clueless and from a total different system. A bit of a challenge I have to say.

Outside work I am surprised to realize how fast you can adapt to a new environment. Of course it is still different but not as shocking as it was in the first weeks. I know my way around much better now and especially after the ride back from the lake passing through hundreds of villages where the people have nothing, I can see what luxury it is to be living in a town. I still would prefer village life I guess but listening to the complaints of other vols, who are placed in rural areas, I probably only have this romantic picture in my head. They´re bored, isolated and pretty lonely. Every location has it´s pro´s and cont´s. In the countryside the locals work from sunrise to sunset and live from less than $1 a day, they´re not used to “muzungus” and would be friendly but keep their distance. There is no running water or electricity.
In the city life for the locals is hard as well but on a different level. They see a few more muzungus but all they can usually see is money. I guess here the contrast is just so much stronger. There are rich and poor right next to each other, at least in the villages they don’t need to face the inequality every day. You see orphans and physically handicapped, old and sick people begging outside the big shopping centers. There are people walking barefoot in worn out clothes next to the street while mercedeses and fords pass by. At least the houses are made of brick and there is water and electricity. All in all it is still a third world country and poverty strikes you everywhere. If you´re in the country or in the city. I think what gets me is that here the majority is trying to reach the wrong goals, goals they think are important like a fancy phone, a big car or a posh handbag. This is ridiculous if you look around you, all these suffering people! But I guess they just see the western world with all its materialism and capitalism and want to keep up. I guess values like love, charity and sustainability don’t count so much when all what matters is how to survive. You cannot think a long time ahead, who knows what happens tomorrow. But that is the danger, and that’s what I realized in India too, to just get numb, narrow minded and careless, only concentrated on your own little life, your family and your own little battle. When you have no idea of future, no dreams, no hope why should you work harder then you need to, why should you care for others? Even the religion, which they celebrate in ecstasy can´t take that away.
That’s tough to see, maybe I´m even wrong but that’s how it looks like for me these days. I want to dig deeper but I am always the alien, a visitor from another world, maybe that’s why I get this impression.

There are no pictures this time, still don’t have a camera on my own, but soon Andrea is coming (aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!) and she will bring me a new one.
Enjoy the pre-Christmas atmosphere back in Europe, I heard its really cold. Here its 40°C in the day, I´m trying hard but the Christmas feeling is not really coming..
xxx Hanna

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